Episode #458: Dr. Joshua Weiss

Balance Competition and Cooperation Instead of Compromise

Meet

Dr. Joshua Weiss

Dr. Joshua N. Weiss is a negotiation and conflict resolution expert, a Senior Fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project, and co-founder of the Global Negotiation Initiative at Harvard University. He is also the Director of the MS in Leadership and Negotiation at Bay Path University and runs a private consulting firm, where he designs and facilitates customized negotiation and conflict resolution solutions for businesses, organizations, international entities, governments, and individuals.

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According to experienced coach and emotional intelligence expert Nicole Soames, founder and CEO of Diadem, ambition is the strategy that helps people get the most out of their negotiations. 

Nicole joins Paul on the show to unravel the complexities of negotiation and explore everything from the critical differences between strategy and tactics to practical ways to prepare and plan for high-stakes deals. 

With over 30 years of experience, Nicole shares her expert insights on maintaining emotional intelligence, the power of ambition in negotiations, and how to effectively navigate and counter those challenging tactics often used by professional buyers. Tune in to this episode if you’re ready to revolutionize how you approach negotiation conversations. 

Outline of This Episode

  • (0:00) Introduction to Dr. Joshua Weiss
  • (1:00) The Difference Between Strategy and Tactics in Negotiation
  • (4:30) Top Three Negotiation Tactics
  • (7:45) Planning and Role-Playing for Successful Negotiations
  • (9:10) Most Common Negotiation Strategies
  • (13:00) Counteracting Aggressive Negotiation Tactics
  • (15:45) Joshua’s Top 3 Dos and Don’ts in Negotiation
  • (18:50) Applied Strategies in Real-life Experience

Negotiation Strategy vs. Tactics

Joshua Weiss explains that negotiation tactics are like the moves in a game of chess, where you learn specific skills such as persuasion, empathy, or problem-solving, and how to use them effectively. The Negotiation strategy, on the other hand, is the bigger picture. 

The strategy requires understanding whether the negotiation is a one-time event or an ongoing relationship and adjusting your approach accordingly. Tactics are how you execute your strategy. Without a clear strategy, tactics lose their effectiveness.

Joshua’s best negotiation strategy is an interest-based approach, which he learned from the book Getting to Yes. This strategy focuses on understanding the underlying motivations of the other party involved in the negotiation. 

By uncovering what really matters to them, you can engage in problem-solving and reach the best possible agreement. Joshua emphasizes that knowing what’s important to the other side is key to avoiding unproductive bargaining and finding a mutually beneficial solution.

Top Negotiation Tactics for Dr. Weiss

  1. Adaptability and Flexibility: Joshua emphasizes the importance of being adaptable in negotiations, recognizing that you are always working with incomplete information. This mindset helps you stay flexible and responsive to new information, allowing you to adjust your approach as needed.
  2. Problem-Solving Over Compromise: Instead of settling for compromises, which often result in inefficient solutions, Joshua advocates for a problem-solving approach. He encourages being curious, asking lots of questions, and creatively finding ways to address both parties’ needs, aiming for solutions that go beyond expediency.
  3. Radical Empathy: Joshua defines radical empathy as deeply empathizing with the other party, even if they are difficult or have opposing views. It involves putting yourself in their shoes, especially in challenging situations, with the understanding that achieving a peaceful resolution is better than prolonged conflict. This approach goes beyond regular empathy, as it requires you to empathize even with those you may find hard to relate to.

Strategic Balance to Meet Your Purpose

Joshua Weiss’s negotiation strategy centers on striking a balance between competition and cooperation. Rather than simply reaching any agreement, he believes the goal is to meet your objectives as effectively as possible. 

In long-term negotiations, it’s crucial to assertively understand your needs while also seeking collaborative solutions that benefit both parties. Joshua warns against compromising just to close a deal, as this often falls short of achieving meaningful goals. Instead, he stresses the importance of framing negotiations as problem-solving opportunities, where both sides can meet their objectives. 

He believes it’s better to walk away without a deal than settle for one that doesn’t align with your core purpose. When handling aggressive tactics like nibbling or anchoring, Joshua advises staying aware and maintaining clarity about your goals. Recognizing these tactics allows you to respond confidently and stay true to your objectives. He also recommends taking a “balcony break” when feeling pressured, providing space to reset and avoid making hasty decisions.

Dr. Weiss’ Dos and Don’ts of Negotiating 

Joshua’s top negotiation dos and don’ts emphasize the importance of mindset, relationship-building, and effective communication. First, he advises developing a flexible and adaptable negotiation mindset and investing time to improve these skills. 

Second, he stresses the need to ask good, open-ended questions to gather information and fully understand the situation. Additionally, building and nurturing relationships before, during, and after negotiations is key, as it helps foster collaboration and trust. On the flip side, Joshua cautions against viewing the other person as an adversary; instead, they should be seen as a problem-solving partner. 

He also warns against rushing into compromises, suggesting that it should be a last resort, not the first solution. Finally, he emphasizes the importance of avoiding assumptions, as they can mislead you and cause problems in negotiations.

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Learn More About Dr. Joshua Weiss

What was a pivotal moment in your career that shaped your approach to negotiation, and how did it influence your strategy and tactics?

I think a pivotal moment in my career came when I failed in a job negotiation early on in my career.  There was a lot of promise and possibilities with the job, but we got bogged down when it came to certain details and missed opportunities to approach the situation differently. I learned then if you get too rooted in your position you can’t get creative, which is often needed to succeed.                                  

Can you share a specific negotiation tactic that has consistently helped you close deals more effectively? Please provide an example where it worked.

I use the tactic of being flexible and adaptable in my orientation toward negotiation so I am prepared for anything and expect new information to be revealed as the process unfolds. When I approach negotiation in this way I am rarely surprised.  I remember when I truly learned to do this I felt my self being much more comfortable with the process.  There was one deal I worked on where the other side came out of the blue with a number of requests. If I did not have a flexible approach I would have become flustered and perhaps given up too much. Instead, I took the information it, took a break to consider all the new things, and reformulated a new proposal.  And it worked by meeting my objectives as well as theirs. 

What is the most challenging negotiation you’ve ever faced, and what strategy or tactic helped you turn it into a win?

Probably some of the back channel work I have done in political negotiations. There are often many parties and issues involved. Our job is to try to come up with creative solutions and feed them into the official channels. There have been some processes that have gotten very tense, but we have learned to embrace the emotional aspects and not run from them. This is key in these kinds of negotiations given the magnitude of the challenge. 

What are your top three must-have tools, frameworks, or resources that sales professionals should use to improve their negotiation skills?

I use a modified version of the interest based negotiation framework for most of my negotiations. I build on that and modify it based on the situation.  2. A negotiation planning tool – this helps me strategize, properly analyze the situation, and write down what I know to be true and areas where I want to explore.  3.  I recently developed a framework on my new book – Getting Back to the Table – that helps people learn from their setbacks and failures. It is proving to be really useful.  

With buyer behaviors evolving and AI playing a larger role in sales, how do you see negotiation strategies and tactics changing in the future? What should sales professionals do to stay ahead?

AI is a key tool that can really help you to prepare and do your due diligence. The key is to know how to use it and to maximize its benefits.  And to also know its limitations.  I think sales professionals will be able to use AI to perfect their framing and to get a better sense of what the other negotiator is trying to accomplish and to tailor your approach toward them as best as possible.  

What’s are some simple but powerful negotiation tactics that most salespeople overlook?

The power of setting the agenda, the importance of framing and anchoring, knowing that people are loss averse, and managing the emotional aspects of negotiation (hint you can’t suppress your emotions or they will become problematic – you have to manage them and bring them into the process with some control).   

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