Episode #468 – Dr. Christopher Meyer

On the show this week, Dr. Christopher Meyer, author of “Settle for More” and one of the Global Guru’s Top 30 Thought Leaders in Negotiation for 2025, shares his expertise on the critical differences between negotiation strategy and tactics, and why a strong planning mindset is key to successful deals.

Chris breaks down his unique approach to negotiation—shifting from a traditional “win-win” mindset to focusing on how everyone at the table can truly gain. He shares his favorite negotiation tactics, the importance of preparation, and how to handle those infamous hardball negotiation techniques from buyers.

Additionally, Chris provides us with valuable dos and don’ts for negotiators and offers a memorable real-world example from his own high-stakes experience in the tech sector.

Outline of This Episode

• [00:00] Consider long-term strategy and adapt tactics to each negotiation based on your relationship.
• [04:22] Adopt a gain-focused mindset in negotiation for mutual benefits.
• [07:08] Spend 80% of your time on planning to ensure smooth negotiations. 
• [10:12] Focus on building relationships and value, not just achieving quotas.
• [13:22] Mutually beneficial relationships require both parties to gain.
• [17:29] The breakthrough moment shifted Chris’s approach from adversarial to collaborative.

Beyond Win-Win—Negotiation with a Mindset for Gain

Negotiation lies at the heart of successful sales, but too often it conjures images of hard-nosed tactics, adversarial posturing, and zero-sum outcomes. One of Chris’s most compelling messages is about the mindset underpinning successful negotiation. Instead of getting stuck in old “win-lose” or even “win-win” mentalities, he encourages negotiators to focus on mutual gain so that everyone in the room can gain.

Negotiation, at its core, should be about finding ways for all parties to walk away recognizing value, making the process constructive, not combative. This sets the stage for strong, lasting business relationships. When both sides gain, collaboration and repeat business become far more likely.

Favorite Tactics: Trade Offs, Value Creation, and Contingencies

With the right mindset in place, tactical execution becomes nuanced and effective. Chris shares his three preferred tactics:

• Trade-Offs: Look for opportunities to give the other party a gain in exchange for something valuable in return.
• Value Creation: Identify and offer unique, specific benefits in the negotiation that can enhance the outcome for all.
• Contingencies: Structure deals so that additional benefits are provided if the counterpart reciprocates—making negotiations dynamic and adaptable.

These approaches move beyond bargaining chips and price discussions; they’re about co-creating solutions that satisfy both parties’ core interests.

Planning is the Unsung Hero of Negotiation

A recurring theme in the podcast is the overwhelming importance of planning. Chris advocates for an “80/20 rule,” encouraging negotiators to spend 80% of their time preparing and only 20% executing. Deep preparation isn’t just about knowing your own needs, but also anticipating the objectives and potential moves of your counterpart. Thorough planning means you’re never blindsided by tough questions or aggressive tactics, and you’re positioned to create and communicate value confidently. 

When it comes to those famously tricky buyer tactics—take-it-or-leave-it offers, extreme anchoring, and last-minute demands, Chris’ advice is twofold: first, be prepared (so you spot them coming), and second, show grace. Rather than meet aggression with aggression, view these moves as products of outdated training and use the opportunity to steer negotiations toward collaborative problem-solving.

Chris’ Do’s and Don’ts for Better Negotiations

Chris offers a succinct checklist for sales professionals:

Do:

• Ask Questions & Be Curious: Seek to understand before seeking to be understood
• Develop Value: Bring as much as you can to the table
• Ensure All Parties Benefit: Winning together encourages long-term success.

Don’t:

• Don’t Lie: Honesty fuels trust
• Don’t Obfuscate: Clear communication prevents misunderstandings
• Don’t Threaten: Ultimatums close minds and kill creativity

When both sides are focused on gain—and negotiators put in the work to prepare, ask, and listen—outcomes exceed expectations. For anyone in sales, the path forward is clear: trade old mindsets for a commitment to curiosity, collaboration, and planning, and you’ll champion not just your own success, but the reputation of the entire profession.

Connect with Dr. Christopher Meyer

• Christopher Meyer | Hankamer School of Business
• Meyer Negotiation

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Learn More About Dr. Christopher Meyer

1. What was a pivotal moment in your career that shaped your approach to negotiation, and how did it influence your strategy and tactics?

I had a lot of failed negotiations early in my career as a sales professional. I worked for start-up companies and selling unproven software was often a difficult task. I had several very good mentors that taught me about relationships and providing value in a negotiation – two of whom were customers. These customers were determined to teach me that value must be provided to all the parties involved to have a successful negotiation. They also taught me about building relationships, building trust, and focusing on long-term outcomes rather than just making the sale today.

2. Can you share a specific negotiation tactic that has consistently helped you close deals more effectively? Please provide an example where it worked.

I consistently ask questions in a negotiation. My favorite question is “Why?”. I think that negotiators can be too complacent and accepting when people provide information. I had a recent negotiation with an individual about some communication that went out from the organization. He provided an unclear non-answer to some direct questions. Others in the room, although unsatisfied, were willing to move on. I continued to push for answers and in doing so uncovered a need that he felt was going unmet in the organization. This allowed us to move forward in a relationship that could have failed had I not asked the questions.

3. What is the most challenging negotiation you’ve ever faced, and what strategy or tactic helped you turn it into a win?

I would be lying if I said it was with someone besides one of my kids, but that’s not the focus of this question. I had a recent negotiation with my Dean about some policy changes at the University. I went into the negotiation focused on my care for the school, the students, and my own contribution. I also knew that the University had different issues that were important, but unknown to me. As negotiators we must be willing to accept that there is unknown information that can change outcomes. We should ask questions to clarify that information but accept that it exists. I think, especially when we are negotiating for something that we care about deeply, we can be myopic and lose touch with outside issues. If we are to be excellent negotiators, we must understand the perspective of the others involved.

4. What are your top three must-have tools, frameworks, or resources that sales professionals should use to improve their negotiation skills?

I won’t go into a high-stakes negotiation without a written preparation sheet. I want to know why I’m there, the best-case outcome, where I walk away, and if I walk away what’s waiting for me. I also want a list of questions that I want to ask and a list of questions that I think others will ask of me. Finally, I want an examination of my mindset. I work through that examination in my book, Settle for More. I think it’s critical to know yourself if you want to be an excellent negotiator.

5. With buyer behaviors evolving and AI playing a larger role in sales, how do you see negotiation strategies and tactics changing in the future? What should sales professionals do to stay ahead?

Currently, AI is not at a place that it will negotiate better than a well-prepared, emotionally intelligent human being. There is too much opportunity to uncover hidden value, to find creative solutions, or to add extraneous issues that AI would miss. That may not be true in the future. I think the greatest advantage of AI currently is to use it to prepare. Savvy users could write prompts that could take complex negotiations and provide compelling offers or develop alternatives. AI won’t build trust or relationships, which is the way that the best salespeople set themselves apart.

6. What are some simple but powerful negotiation tactics that most salespeople overlook?

Be authentic. People will always buy from people they like and trust, and no one likes a phony. I think that sometimes, as salespeople, we get caught up in that role-based personality and we let that drive our interactions. Be you, be real. Not everyone will embrace it, but those who do will stick with you.